Starting Over

That’s the title of one of my favorite Chris Stapleton songs (I am not a huge country fan, but I am obsessed with the soul this man sings with). The melody is upbeat and hopeful, while the lyrics focus on the obstacles to come in the future.

I believe this song reflects my life in the current moment very well, as I am looking for a chance to start over. With this blog, with my commitment to writing & with pouring my heart into something that brings me joy. I have to be honest and say that last year, I lost that joy.

I, like many other people during the pandemic, have struggled with some dark times. I think calling it “dark times” gives it a more swallow-able name, but the real name is depression. I fell into one, hard. The combination of the world feeling dark and empty, and working from home in a studio apartment (that some days felt like a prison cell), being far far away from my family, and keeping social circles small for the sake of survival, caught up to me. I lost my sparkle, as some may say. Unfortunately, this was not my first time dealing with a fall into a depression, and I had to work even harder this time around to claw my way out of it.

My writing became sad and dark. Each time I sat down at my computer to type out a new post, I welled with tears, reading the words I wrote out in front of me. Life felt really heavy, and there was no way of hiding that in my writing. Honest writing is something I strive for, but also while reflecting my best self, and I was certainly not that.

So, I took a break (and yes, a very long one haha). I am doing so much better now, and can see the forest for the trees as I have moved into a new 1 bedroom apartment, made some great new friends, and have been fortunate enough to reopen social circles (thank you Moderna!). I think this was one of those, “you have to fall in order to get back up” kind of moments.

That brings us to today. I have refocused my attention to writing, and connecting with my readers, and I am back, along with a new website design :)

I am so excited to share with you some of the adventures I have been on, some of the crazy sh*t that has happened to me in the past year-ish, and of course, how roaring twenties really are.

Before I go, I want to thank you, for giving me another chance to enter your computer/phone screens, as I begin this journey again. You are amazing!

Buckle up!

-M